Unexpected situation:
I watched the video on youtube about 30 beginner tips for Mac. Found some interesting tips and immediately used them on my Mac. Especially I liked the hot corners. Then, after watching the whole video, I wanted to leave the comment to appreciate the creator of the video and at this moment something really unpredictably shameful and hideous happened to me. I really couldn’t find appropriate words to describe my feelings and my minds. That was really unbelievable and at some point something fearful for me. I learnt English at school then I studied English at the academy. I even graduated from the academy with the red diploma of foreign languages in this case it is English.
So, what happened now that I couldn’t deal with the such a simple action as writing an ordinary comment? The main and essential point in this situation is that we forget our received knowledge if we don’t use it every day or every time when we need it. We forget what we have known just a few years ago. And it’s really so confusing, unpleasant and disgusting feeling not only for my soul and me but for those years spending hours, days and nights on learning and studying foreign language.
So, this language crush made my thoughts stuck for one minute with no moving. Then all sorts of questions started to fall on me like heavy stones from the high hills with no time to even answer on them one by one. What’s wrong with you? Are you silly? Are you dumb? Why you can’t write the simple comment? What happened with all your English words? You haven’t written anything in English for a few years and this is your fault. What have you been doing during all these years? You were just wasting your time without chatting with your friends, without creating any stories, without just doing anything. What the hell!
I immediately set up huge barricades and try to block all these unstoppable attacks and started to answer on all these questions in my head. Yes, I didn’t write anything but it not such a big deal. Yes, I didn’t chat with my foreign friends and it is not such a big deal too. But I always watch movies in English and different sort of videos. Especially I like watching people’s vlogs on youtube and do it almost every day. And at the same time I realize that watching all that stuff is not the same as writing and talking. It is completely different thing. Yes, you understand the foreign speech but you don’t use it in real time with other people and friends. So, if you don’t use it you just carefully put your tiptoe on the first step of the trembling ladder to the initial stage of losing your unique memory.
Years before it took me only few seconds or one minute to answer to friend’s messages and questions in the internet but today it took me five minutes just to write a simple comment.
Every day, even doing simple usual things, I learn something new from this tremendous life no matter what happens around.
Today I learnt that the time is passing awfully and extremely fast. Today you know it but tomorrow you can unexpectedly for yourself completely forget it. And to not let it happen is just taking the responsibility of our precious life because everything is substantially based in our hands, minds and actions.
So embarrassing!